| The first few days
Once you're all at home it can feel very strange and will take some getting used to. Although some babies sleep for 18 hours a day, it probably won't be when you want to sleep. Lie-ins will be a thing of the past and both you and your partner may be exhausted.
Your partner may be having a rocky time. Around day three, she may hit the 'baby blues' and become weepy as her hormones readjust. She may have had a caesarean (a fifth of women do) and need a lot of care, or simply be exhausted.
Dealing with visitors
Of course, everyone wants to see your new baby. But you and your partner (and possibly siblings) need some time alone to adjust. So put visitors off for a couple of days or keep visits short. Grandparents may want to stay, so it might be worth suggesting they wait for a few weeks. Help give your partner space so she can establish breastfeeding in a calm atmosphere. Don't worry if you're all still in pyjamas at lunchtime.
Naming your child
You must register the birth of your child. If you're married you can do it on your own. If you're unmarried and want to be on the birth certificate, you and your partner must attend together. Remember, if you want 'parental responsibility' your name must be on the birth certificate.
Staying involved
Now's the time - especially if you're on paternity leave - to try everything (except breastfeeding). You and your partner probably know as little as each other, so get stuck in and learn together.
Even breastfed babies need to be winded, settled, changed and bathed, so there are loads of things to do. It will bring you closer to your baby and your partner.
Help for dads
There'll be lots of professionals at the hospital to support your partner and baby. But they're there for you, too. So when the health visitor or midwife visits, stick around, ask questions and listen. They need you to ensure your partner and your baby get the best care. If, for example, your partner has postnatal depression (lots do), you're the person most likely to spot it.
And try to stay in contact with other dads from your antenatal group. Someone going through the same experience can be a great help.
These first few days set the tone of your fatherhood. Long term, are you going to be a hands-on dad or a ham-fisted helper? Now's the time to choose. |
